


this is not a love story (this is us)

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Series: loves always breaking your heart [2]
Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: Angst and Feels, Love Poems, M/M, cory matthews loves shawn hunter, cory/shawn hunter, dont be dismayed by the title it's their love story in their own unique way, shawn hunter has feelings, shory, this is poetry actually so yea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5814883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you were only a child when you learned that loving shawn hunter<br/>was like hugging an atom bomb<br/>and hoping you didn't die as you tugged him in closer<br/>(you were only a child when you found love and decided it was worth the risk)</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is not a love story (this is us)

**Author's Note:**

> "let him win once in awhile, he likes that."  
> [it's not you, it's me]

**[shawn]**

there's a bottle of gin at your feet and a wilting rose tucked into suit pockets  
and it's a competition for which one will kill you first

the jagged rocks at the bottom of a murky abyss

or his eyes, his smile

another swig and the rose is crushed in the palm of your hand

you loved and you let it kill you

(you would do it again)

* * *

**[shawn]**

you think you're losing him again

you've gotten used to this scene

the curtain drawing as you hide in the shadows

the princess in her tower up high and you in the shrubs

you play your part and you play it well

rehearsed words - flat and hollow

sunlight on newspaper with coffee in his cup

his cup, not yours

(take a bow, he almost bought it)

* * *

**[shawn]**

_boyfriend_

_lover_

words like cyanide on the tip of her tongue

meant to strip you down in front of everyone

meant to push you off course

with all the grace of an angry bull

and you _are_ \- you're an animal

in that you cannot get your fill

of pale skin and stolen kisses

(you're not ashamed)

* * *

**[shawn]**

you're in sixth grade

all gangly limbs and a sarcastic quip ready to go

summer has been kind to you and

you're feeling clever when you spin tales against her

one after another until it's not funny anymore

until he's no longer laughing

but you cannot stop

(you do not understand what compels you to inflict pain but you do it anyway)

* * *

**[cory]**

her lips are petal soft under your own

a familiar face as she trails kisses on bare skin

and you panic

you are an abandoned buoy at sea bobbing and swaying

screwing your eyes closed against the motion

of the universe unbalanced

bile collects in your throat and you tell yourself

that there must be a reason for that

but you keep it to yourself

and consult a doctor who takes one glance at you

and _knows_

you hastily spit out a partial truth _(I'm not gay)_ (you're not, you're bisexual) _  
_

and find out that there's nothing wrong with you

but nothing is right either

(you love him more)

* * *

**[shawn]**

you were never good enough for him

but your heart never listened, never understood

simply pounded out a painful rhythm until your chest ached

and your arms were reaching for his before you could draw them back

you were never good enough

(but he makes you feel like someday you might be)

* * *

**[cory]**

you were only a child when you thought that pain was equal to love

and every rock flung in her direction was a compliment

you were only a child when those rocks turned on you

and left bruises on your heart

you were only a child when you learned that loving shawn hunter

was like hugging an atom bomb

and hoping you didn't die as you tugged him in closer

(you were only a child when you found love and decided it was worth the risk)

* * *

**[shawn]**

postcards and photographs

checks and birthday cards

greetings from Prague and Portugal

_"wish you were here"_

scrawled onto the back with a jumbled mess of scribbles underneath

every scribbled word crossed out and aggressively hidden

the truth in plain sight

~~_I can't stop thinking about you_ ~~

~~_Is it too late to come home?_ ~~

~~_I loveyouIloveyouIloveyou_ ~~

(cory holds love in the palm of his hand and he doesn't even know it)

* * *

**[shawn]**

you try to tell him that you love him

you try to tell him that you'd lasso the moon if he asked

you try to hug him tighter

you try to simply hold it together like your insides aren't trembling

you try to make it look like you're not walking away for good

you try to stay

you try

(you don't)

**Author's Note:**

> follow me for more soft cory/shawn feels http://iloveitwhenyoucallmebabe.tumblr.com/


End file.
